Richmond Pet Lovers

Pet Cat Jokes

 

"A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life." -- Hugh Sidey

Got a cat joke you'd like to share? Please, send it in. Make sure you leave your name so we can give credit where it's due.

A Guide to Understanding Your Cat
Step by Step: How to Wash A Cat
You Know You're A Cat Person When

A Guide to Understanding Your Cat

Action
Meaning
Staring at the food dish = Feed Me!
Staring at the cupboard = Feed Me!
Licking the empty bowl = Feed Me!
Looking at you = Follow me into the kitchen and FEED ME!
Looking at your lap = Get up and FEED ME!
Sitting on your head = Wake up and FEED ME!
Scratching at the bedroom door = Wake up, open this door and FEED ME!
Meow, Meow, Meowrrr = FEED ME, FEED ME, FEED ME NOW!
Burp! = Thank You!

Step by Step: How to Wash the Cat

  1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
  2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
  3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
  5. CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can grab!
  6. Flush the toilet three or four times.
  7. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
  8. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

    9. Sincerely,
    The DOG

    You Know You're a Cat Person When...

    • You refer to going to the bathroom as "using the litterbox"
    • You do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair
    • You consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber
    • You apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark
    • You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down
    • You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking soooo cute!
    • You accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the floor
    • You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids
    • You decorate your Christmas tree with dangly cat toys
    • Your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all the cats"
    • You have more pictures of your cats than your kids in your wallet
    • You refer to your cat as your furry child
    • Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry "grandchild"
    • You plan your vacation around the cat show schedule
    • You accidentally call your spouse by your cat's name
    • You set a place at the dinner table for your cat
    • You have a set of towels with "His" "Hers" and "Kitty's" embroidered on them
    • You call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat
    • You have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine
    • You and kitty have matching outfits.
    • Your spouse says, "Me or the cat!," and there's no hesitation
    • You never go to the door unless it's to let a cat out
    • Your favorite friends have fleas
    • You chose a house to buy based on it having a good location for the catbox
    • You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal
    • You own 17 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers
    • You are lost for conversation with non-cat people
    • You meow so well, you confuse the cats
    • You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between 9-Lives and Amore...at length

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